Random
February 6th, 2005 at 11:57am |
Random observation. If you’re going to do laundry, you should do all of it. Doing half of it ensures that whatever you wanted to wear is still in the dirty half.
Posted in Awake
Random observation. If you’re going to do laundry, you should do all of it. Doing half of it ensures that whatever you wanted to wear is still in the dirty half.
Doing half the laundry ensures that you have no pair of matching socks but only mismatched ones . . .
Confession: I think that I went a month without doing laundry, from finishing a publication to The Essay. That’s the longest that I can remember going without certain clothing items (at least clean ones).
That’s impressive, Melissa. But have you ever had to turn your dirty underwear inside-out?
When I was in college and not dating, I was more lax about such things, but even at my most date-less and slovenly, I never, ever turned underwear inside-out to wear them again. Must be a Todd thing. Dawn, do you really allow this? I can’t imagine any woman would live with a man who did such a nasty thing.
I too have never turned the underwear inside out. However, I do remember being in college and having to go to the laundromat to do laundry when I could and not being able to afford the $1 machines many times. And, I sadly admit, there were times when I just went without the underwear. Is that just as disgusting as turning it inside out?
I don’t know…I suppose as long as you are cleanly, it’s OK. As a man, I’ve never been much interested in trying. Genitals and zippers have an uneasy but close relationship. Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode. Kramer: “the only thing between my boys and the wind is a thin layer of gabardine!” What’s the expression for not wearing any underwear? I know there’s a funny slang expression for it, but I can’t think of it.
Going commando? I thought I had more, but I can’t think of them…
I’m such a wimp. I’ve been known to just buy new cheapo undies when clean ones weren’t avialable.
Going commando…that’s it. Wonder where that expression comes from? Surely commandos wear underwear. Economically speaking, edible underwear might be the best buy. Think about it: you could wear your lunch to work. I don’t know how filling or nutritious those things are, however. Might need a snack to go with it. Do they make edible bras? Edible undershirts?
A question was posed so I had to find the answer. Here’s a little background on “going Commando” and its origins.
“Unfortunately, or fortunately, we can’t be naked all of the time. There are moments, quite a few of them, in fact, when clothes are not just a necessity but a legal requirement. How then do we deal with the sweltering heat? If you’re already down to shorts and a tank top, or your breezy little sundress isn’t breezy enough, there’s only one thing left to do: You’ve got to “go commando.”
Call it free-balling, California casual, alfresco, or the much-preferred “going commando.” Unless that sundress is super susceptible to breeze, super short, or you’re super drunk, no one will know the difference. Fans of fashion swear by it, and ever since Joey popularized the phrase on Friends, everyone knows what it means but few have the, ahem, balls to go through with it.
Why is that, you ask? Perhaps it’s the puritan in all of us. We may not wear knee-length knickers anymore, but even that strand of butt floss provides a last line of defense against, well, whatever. We simply like the sense of security that underwear provides.
But another question remains: Why is it called “going commando”? Ever the journalist, I decided to find out so that you wouldn’t have to. An Internet search yielded some pretty interesting Web sites — discussions about the merits of letting it all hang out, other articles about being anti-panty. But nothing I saw had a definitive explanation of the origins of the term. Well, dammit, I’m an investigative reporter and won’t be stopped by dead ends.
As luck (my God, the luck!) would have it, when I was on vacation a few weeks ago, I stumbled across 12 Special Forces soldiers who were staying at my hotel. These were Army guys, Green Berets, commandos in the truest sense of the word. What better way to find out the origin of the term than to just go looking myself? It’s war time, these are commandos, and while I’m no USO girl, surely I could serve my country by solving this puzzling question.
Long story short, commandos go commando. That’s apparently how the term came about.
I’ll admit this was not a scientific investigation. I certainly didn’t go around checking all of them, but the one I checked was definitely anti-panty, and he says every Special Forces guy he knows does the same. They do tend to stay in bunkhouses, so it stands to reason that they’d be aware of the other soldiers’ habits. But, still, I wasn’t satisfied. I needed more information.
A week later, the same commandos were scheduled to be in northern Mississippi attending a shooting school that specializes in training Special Forces. For this school, they’d all be staying in the bunkhouse. So I got my favorite soldier to let me in the house. The floor was covered in clothes, both clean and dirty — imagine summer camp for boys who have passed puberty, wear night-vision goggles, and shoot automatic weapons. (Can I just say now that I’m becoming patriotic?) I looked around the mounds of clothes and saw nary a boxer or brief or even a boxer brief. He guessed what I was doing and said, “I told you. We don’t wear underwear. Is that why you wanted me to bring you here?”
It turns out they have good reasons for free-balling.
“We spend so much time in tropical, moist environments that, if we wear underwear, we’ll get crotch rot,” he told me. Underwear can also give rise to other maladies in men. Enticing things like anal itch, chafed penis, jock itch, and infertility.
As the soldiers’ jobs require extensive swimming, one of their official uniforms consists of swim trunks and a gloriously tight T-shirt. (Did I mention the luck?) Anyway, the trunks are very short by contemporary men’s fashion standards, and, feeling coy, I commented that it’s a good thing those trunks are lined, otherwise it could get obscene.
But, according to another soldier, the trunks aren’t lined at all. And, yes, sometimes the little decision-makers do fall out. But that’s the uniform the Army makes the commandos wear, so they just deal with it. (I had never felt greater affection for Uncle Sam in my entire life.)
I asked, “If it bothers you, why don’t you just wear underwear?” I was met with blank stares.
“We don’t wear underwear,” I was told.
“Ever?” I asked.
“Never.”
It’s getting hot in here, indeed. In the spirit of the Greatest Generation, I propose we all swear off those poly-cotton, 2 percent Lycra blends. Our grandmothers got to skip pantyhose for the war cause. In this time of terror, going commando is the least we can do.”
“…the little decision-makers.” That’s a good one! Thank you for your ivnestigation. Now I understand, and it does make some sense. However, I am still a bit dubious. Presumably all soldiers operate in environments where they will sweat a lot. One might think of, oh let’s see…Iraq? The kinds of medical conditions this “commando” mentions–chafed penis, anal itch, all of that–would be common among any men who work in a sweltering environment. Why wouldn’t it be common for all soldiers to “go commando?” In short why do only commandos go commando?
Never satisfied, are you? I’ll have to do some more investigation at home tonight and see if I can find the answer. You raise a very good point though.
By the way, I find it interesting that the original post here was only 3 sentences long. Look how this has spun off!!!!
Thank you for the trouble you are taking with this question. A couple more points to consider: speaking from a man’s perspective, men chafe when wearing looser fitting clothes, not snugger fitting clothes. Thus boxers chafe more than briefs. And thus “going commando” ought to theoretically chafe more than either of those. And it’s not the penis that gets chafed, at least in my experience. It’s the testicles that chafe.
Also, from my knowledge of World War II, I recall one Marine who mentioned that on the way to Iwo Jima, the ships’ holds were so crowded and steamy that the men started sleeping with pillows between their legs to absorb the moisture. Presumably, then, to prevent “crotch rot” and other maladies, the solution is not less cloth, but more.
Wow. All that from a tiny little post.
Just for the record…I’ve never turned my underwear inside out or gone lady commando. For whatever reason, I have an insane amount of underwear, although by the time you get to about the third week of not doing laundry, the underwear is rather ugly and filled with holes, and not something you’d wear in case you got into an accident.
I just meant all the shirts I wanted to wear were dirty. But this underwear conversation is far more interesting.
I say if you feel comfortably going commando, do it. But that’s something I couldn’t do.
Every woman I’ve ever known has had insane amounts of underwear. It must be common to the female of the species, I think.
While I want to avoid posting yet another report on this topic to this blog, I have done some more investigating on the “going commando” topic. Please see the posting “Going commando” at http://www.sodsbrood.com/vega for more.
Matt, you asked about Todd. You want to know the truth of the matter? Todd’s less likely to wear his dirties inside out and MORE likely to steal my clean undies to wear–especially the colored undies. Irks me every time, but there’s not a whole lot I can do about it, and it’s preferable to him wearing dirties. Sometimes he’s gone as long as a week wearing mine before he does his own laundry.
Truth of the matter is that I have only resorted to wearing his undies once (I keep up with laundry pretty well, and have a ton of undies), and have only gone commando wearing sweats for as long as it takes to wash and dry a pair.
So anybody else want to fess up about wearing their partners undies?
More confessions (and I must say, this thread is bringing such much needed relief from my politically oriented work): Yes to going commando, reversable undies, and using partner undies. Does the cliche ‘all’s fair in love and war’ apply here? Certainly, all this hype about undies exposes our cultural predispositions to the whole practicde.
For experimental purposes, you understand, an undertaking of this internet community… Anyone interested in seeing if we could all go commando for a day?
Go commando for a day??? What the hell. . . I’d try it, provided it’s not on a teaching day. Today I unexpectedly had to reveal that I was wearing a t-shirt with cartoon squirrels on it today (too hot in the room to keep the sweater on, so I caved in, removed my sweater, and apologized for being unprofessional). Can’t imagine the circumstances under which my students would learn I was going commando, but I’d rather not risk that!
Assuming there are enough brave folks out there, shall we set a mutual go-commando day and report back?
Well, it’s not something I’ve ever tried (that I recall). I’m not opposed to trying new things on principle, it’s just that I’ve got this phobia about the zipper. You know, I’d have to tuck things in and be superconscious of what I’m doing when zipping up. I mean, I’ll do it. But I’m a little nervous. Also, men’s underwear (briefs, anyway) can help hide unexpected arousals during the day. I just don’t know…from a woman’s perspective, not wearing underwear is probably no big deal. From a man’s perspective, there are just too many complications. Yet even so, I will give it a try if you set the date.
Matt, have you no zipperless pants? Drawstrings perhaps?
Wow. An official “Go Commando” holiday.
Seeing as I used to do this all the time, I, of course, have no problem participating.
However, while I don’t have Matt’s problems, I can see how this might be a more difficult task for men.
(By the way, what’s the record for most comments on a posting in sod’s? This one might take the cake!)
This one takes the prize for most posts. And no, I have no zipperless pants. The only zipperless pants for men are sweats, as far as I know, and I could not get away with wearing those to work. And if I can’t go commando at work, what’s the point? My choice is between jeans and khakis, as I see it. Jeans would keep things more snug, but increase the chances of a “zipper malfunction.” Khakis would be looser but increase the chance of being noticed, should something, uh, arise during the work day. It’s a tough choice. And I’m still not entirely sold on the idea. But I say we try for Monday next week. I have no meetings, nothing important going on at work…
Boy, leave a place for a day and look what happens…
Sure, I’ll try out this commando business–it’ll add a little fun to my life. Monday would work for me, but I might be in Vegas, and I don’t know if “commando-ing” there would cause difficulties. (That, and I might have to take a train there, and if so, uh, no commando for me.)
And Matt–I thought everybody in Washington was ugly. You sure you’ll have problems?
Any chance we can do Tuesday instead? I don’t work that day. But I suppose if Matt is going to brave going commando at work, I should be so brave . . . I’ll only go Monday if people seriously think I’m wimping out by not wanting to do it on a teaching day. Still sounds risky. . .
I have to say that I laughed hysterically, both at the squirrel thing, and then at the … unexpected arousals.
I’d ask more, but you know what, I’d better not.
I’m willing to observe Monday or Tuesday as commando day. I was secretly cheering for Thursday or Friday, since I don’t have to work, but I see the goal is to do it at work.
As for Heather, I think it would be way funnier for her to go commando to Vegas. Or go commando once she gets to Vegas, because I can see the point of not wanting to ride on a train and bus all that way…
You should do it, Dawn… Squirrel shirt, yes. People understand that. … You’re NEVER going to have to take your pants off because it’s too hot. At least, not at class.
So if Dawn’s game, I bet we can all agree on Monday.
Haven’t heard from Todd in this.
You all’s c’azy, jus done rite c’azy! Of course, I won’t be a party pooper and I’ll consent to participate. But I do think the interest piqued points out our oddity as USians.
Monday or Tuesday or both…doesn’t make a difference to me.
And to Heather, about the ugliness of Washingtonians: you are forgetting the interns. Anyway, I may find that not wearing underwear is actually pretty common in the halls of congress. More common than we would like to think about.
I read story a few weeks ago at the Smoking Gun website about a judge in Oklahoma on trial for indecent exposure for not wearing underwear beneath his robes. He went a little far, though, by masturbating during trials. “You honor, I object to that ejaculation!”
I SAW that Oklahoma story and forwarded it on to some friends. I think the suggested headlines were “Here comes the judge” and “Why justice is blind.” Too funny.
Anyway, I’m game for the whole “going commando” day. Just someone make up their minds about when it will be!
As a side note, remember the topic at the beginning of this posting? The whole doing half your laundry thing? I am wearing mismatched socks today. Both black but one is a bit blacker. I don’t think anyone will notice. But Dawn was right. Half the laundry=mismatched socks.
Shel: Dude, if your socks are both black, they match. Doesn’t matter. One could be a sports sock, the other a knee sock, but they match.
(Of course, I attitude on the whole socks thing drives Mel B nuts, being the sock conesseiur that she is…)
Matthew: *Oh* the interns. My bad.
Have we agreed/can we agree on Monday? Dawn, you can be strong. Heather, so can you.
And Shelby, I was going to mock you on the black socks thing, until I saw that Heather had already chimed in. So I combine to mock you both. Just because socks are sort of the same color, does not mean they match.
Heather showed me one of her black socks shortly after she got here, with a hole so big it could’ve been a place for a naked heel.
I literally ripped it apart so she wouldn’t wear it any more. You know a sock is in bad shape when you can rip it apart.
Well, I’m going commando on Monday no matter you people decide. Heck, let’s just do it all next week. That way everyone’s busy schedules are accomodated.
It was mismatched black socks or black tights today. And I didn’t feel like tights. Unlike you fair-weathered friends out there in California, it’s cold here! Must wear something on my feet. I was not about to change the outfit to match socks I could find. And the black trousers and black shoes hide most of the mismatched socks anyways. Ugh. Alright, alright, I’ll do laundry tonight!!!
I remember those times in college when the washers and dryers were all full and I would go to my (at the time) boyfriend’s dorm to do laundry. Funny thing, I always went in with more more undies than I left with. In fact, I have had my two most comfortable bra stollen from the men’s dormitory. Can anyone explain that?
Matt, I think your suggestion that it can be sometime next week is fine. If we can all do it on Monday, fine. But if we can’t, that’s ok too. But another day for sure. But I think we should report back, and not wuss out.
Shel, ok, I might give you a break on the socks thing. Might. And I have to say that now my laundry is fully done, none of it is put away, so I have a hard time finding socks. I could do that tonight, since it’s my weekend… but I might not.
Brandi…Maybe it’s the same motivation for stealing women’s underwear. Trophies. Immaturity.
That would make me mad if someone stole something comfortable. They could have the uncomfortable ones. You should’ve put up wanted posters for your bras, and offer an exchange for one less comfortable.
I just wanted you to know Melissa that I did NOT do laundry last night.
I wore black tights today…no mismatched socks…just for you.
OK. I’ll go commando on Monday–a teaching day. Who knows? Maybe It’ll make me loosen up in class
Good for you, Shel. Black tights! And it’s the weekend, and you’re still not going to do laundry… You could do what Heather says she’s done… just go buy more socks.
And Dawn, we’ll all need courage, but we’re in this together.
So, are we to assume that Monday is commando day? Great idea! I will make sure I am not wearing a skirt to the office or class!
Mel B — The wanted posters sound like a great idea! However, it was a Baptist university and I just don’t think they would see the humor in it. Oh well!
On the contrary, Brandi… a skirt might be more interesting. But you do what feels comfortable. I’m all talk. I’m sure I’ll feel a lot more secure in my jeans.
And those bad Baptist boys shouldn’t have stolen your bras!
More interesting for the attornies I work with during the day and the students I teach at night. For me, I would probably be cautious all day and then someone would know something was up for sure!
My first stop after getting out of bed is to grab a pair of undies, and I went so far as to open the drawer, but then stopped, knowing that today is Go Commando Day. It’s also, curiously enough, Valentine’s Day, but that is not what first came to mind.
Two minutes into going commando (I’ve decided to wear a comfortable pair of jeans, even though I wore jeans on Friday) and, um, it’s actually kind of nice. Going commando for a day is going to be a breeze . . .
What sucks is that I CAN’T wear jeans to work. Damn dress code. AND, as Mel pointed out, I STILL haven’t done laundry because I was gone all weekend. All I have are black dress pants, so it’s black tights and commando for me today. Somehow, I don’t feel quite as free. But I do feel secure.
And Dawn, yeah, I’ve been wondering why (and posted something on my commando posting too) why in the world Valentine’s Day was chosen as Commando Day. What does this say about us I wonder?
I wonder if we subconsciously elected this day as Go Commando Day because we are just pathetic and need a little spice in our lives.
In honor of our day, I must tell you about a little dream I had. I was standing in front of my class and slowly the students were leaving, one by one. Finally, I asked a student why everyone was leaving in the middle of the class. Her response was: Your clothes are disappearing and you forgot to shave your legs!
So on that note. . . COMMANDO!
Hey Folks–when is the day officially ended? I hate to ask and spoil our valentine’s day fun, but I am spending the day at home with Elliot (as I typically do on Mondays), so there is no simple “oh, I’m off at 5 pm” demarcation. . .”
Also, I’m wondering if anyone else finds this not wearing anything under the jeans idea a bit sexy.
Brandi,
Love the dream! I must say “go commando” as a phrase showed up in a dream from a few nights ago. It’s all vague now, but as best I can recall, I was asked about the phrase’s etymolygy (somehow I feel I spelled that wrong . . .)and felt rather personally involved in having to do so, like I was exposing more of myself than I should.
Still surviving commando, though it’s getting to me a little. The hygiene thing weirds me out when I think about it, so I try not to . . .
By the way, TOdd’s wearing sweats today. I say he has to wear zippered pants for this to count for him. Matt, get on his case, will you?
Wow, the dream was funny.
And I will say that I feel a little bit weird but liberated.
Way to go, everybody. I do think Todd should change into jeans.
Todd: Sweatpants?
Ew!
The unfortunate thing is that I don’t work today, so I’ll be commandoing all day (am doing it now. Pow!), but it won’t really count for much. And Vegas fell through, so hey. I have to get out of the house. Maybe it’s time to go to the mall, though i suppose i can’t try anything on. Sandals, perhaps? I do need a new purse…
Technically, I am wearing both. When I walk Elliot (twice now), I change into jeans. Unless I’m doing sports (and when was the last time I did that?), I never wear sweats outside.
I dare you to try on some slacks, Heather. . .
Why don’t you just wear the jeans.
And this just in… Heather will now be commandoing at work for overtime!
I suggest that we don’t do this for a REALLY long time. Maybe again next year for Valentine’s Day, but not any earlier.
It is a bit uncomfortable and kind of gross, like Dawn had mentioned.
I am, however, a little glad that others are having dreams about this day besides me!
Um, I don’t think this is an experiment that needs to be undertaken often, or indeed again, but you will admit, we’re all having fun.
Gorier details need not be shared… I, for instance, will resist the temptation to talk about the underwear I might have worn today.
Todd: Slacks? While you’re in sweatpants? (Tho you’ve left the house with jeans on, so i suppose i can’t give you too much grief…)
Well, as i’m going to work, i think jeans will be just fine. (And besides, will stand out a bit in fancy slacks.)
I would like to see that
So I didn’t see an answer as to when Commando Day ends. I’m telling you all right now that these tights are coming OFF as soon as I shut the front door. Never go commando in tight clothing. Not a good idea. Why oh why didn’t I do laundry?
Oh and Brandi: That dream rocks. Quite funny!
So, what have we learned from our underwear-less day? Any thoughts?
And where has Matt been today? Did he join us or wimp out?
Ahem. I forgot. Is there an emoticon for embarassment?
I really did fforget all about it, even though I reminded myself before bed last night. First thing out of the shower this morning, I put on underwear with nary a thought. In my favor, it was five AM, and I was still half asleep.
I promise I will do it tomorrow. I do find the idea sexy. Sometimes on the bus or train, I fantasize about a female passenger wearing a skirt with no underwear, she slowly crosses her legs Sharon Stone-style…
Don’t see many skirts in Washington in February, though.
I recall a porn website I saw once. It was run by a Scottish woman who shot pics and film of herself and her husband having sex, with him in a kilt (no undies of course). That was a pretty unique site, I thought. It’s been so long, that site may not be active anymore.
I think Matt should have to go commando for a week for forgetting about Commando Day. As punishment.
By the way, Mel, Keeper of the Going Commando Day, where should we be logging our going commando experiences? Here or elsewhere or on our own blogs??? Want me to start one? I’m ready to tell of my horrifying experiences… but where do I put them?
I think Matt should wear a kilt and go commando.
I am ready to end my Go Commando Day! I started at 6:00 AM before work and have just got home at 9:30 PM.
I must say, going commando was alright at work because I sat in front of the computer all day. However, standing in front of class this evening was a different story. I felt like everyone was staring at my ass! I was so self conscious about every move I made in front of the board and was ready for class to end. Did anybody else feel this way?
Shel, I am glad you found my dream funny! I just can’t figure out why my students were more concerned about my legs than the fact that my clothes were just magically disappearing!
I think we can all post individual experiences elsewhere, or here, as there seems to be some posts here.
I’m contemplating just doing another post to go into more detail. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.
So, in quick response, anyway. Matt! Cool dream, drop ‘em tomorrow.
I found myself feeling very self-conscious, even though nobody knew except for my partner-in-crime. … It felt good, but it also felt weird.
I’m glad we had this experiment, and not only addressed a silly thrill, but that we were able to express our different reactions to the experience.
And seeing as at least a couple of you were relieved to get back into the security of your undies, I can admit that I did the same thing. Of course, that ended at a lot closer to actual midnight for me.
I am going to post about my experience at my Photoblog. Fair warning, I will include explicit photographic evidence. Since I cannot leave these shocking photos of myself on the Internet for very long, if you don’t get to my site today, you will never again be able to see this picture of me going commando.
Quick weird observation. Getting ready to take a shower. And yes, I know it’s late for that, but I worked out first…
Anyway, I felt a pang when I realized I was going to put on underwear after the shower. Almost disappointment after yesterday’s naughtiness.
Now mind you, I’ve been wearing underwear since late last night, but somehow, I’m missing the thought of having to put some more on after the shower.
Twisted, yes.
But I wouldn’t do this longterm. After all, it would mean I’d have to wash my jeans a lot more often.
And, btw… My dad’s been lurking. Hi Dad. And Dad informs me he didn’t go commando.
So now I know my dad knows that we’ve all been “sick.”
Matt, if it makes you feel any better, I also forgot. But I shared this post with Tom, who read all of it, up to our plans to go commando. He suggested that we both try it out and have dinner somewhere :). So, I’ll take it on today, hoping that makes up a bit for my forgetfulness.
But really, for evening, I prefer to rid myself of all unnecessary items. And since I don’t have a job these days, some days don’t have to prep for the outside world at all. I get ‘to work’ with my listservs and the like from home, in PJs. Don’t worry. My fun will end come August when I go back to teaching.
Did you go ahead and do it then? And how did it feel?
I have finally posted my experience on “Going Commando” day. Visit Vega for more!
I, too, have posted my experience on Go Commando Day on Shnooks!
Enjoy!
[...] We have decided, per my father’s advice, that we’ll stay in the area to make sure there’s nothing else wrong. We hunt for cheap hotels, since all this trip was supposed to cost was the price of gasoline. And then we head to Wal-Mart to buy underwear and toiletries and find somewhere to eat. (My dad, at this point in the story, the next day, tells me we should’ve gone commando.) [...]