Don’t look
If you’re my dad, don’t look. Anyone else, read on.
Well, it’s not all that shocking. And my dad has seen me defile my body twice before. So Dad, if you couldn’t help yourself… I’m sorry.
I got the answer to life, the universe and everything tattooed on my back today. I don’t know why, just as we don’t know the question to the answer of 42.
Actually, as a little bit of naughtiness, I talked about getting it tattooed in a different place, on my hip or thigh. That was months ago. And then I realized I was too chubby to carry that off. But I really wanted to do it somewhere that my pants would cover up.
So I’d have the answer to life, the universe and everything in my pants.
Dad. Geeze, I hope you’re not reading this.
Anyway, the good news is that I’m not also not skinny enough to carry off very low-rise pants, so technically, my pants do cover up the tattoo.
So I do have the answer in my pants, after all.
You are so FREAKIN hilarious!
Pretty soon complete strangers are going to come up to you in the street and ask for a look-see. I mean, it is THE answer after all. Be sure and have a wet towel nearby to fight them off. How very Adamsian. Ok, I made up a word. . .
I always know where my towel is…
And the problem with having the answer tattooed on my back is that I don’t know the question.
And the question and the answer are mutually exclusive.
But do you have multiple towels hidden all over your house? Be prepared.
When you know the question, you should have it ‘tooed on your belly so you are nicely balanced and not leaning back from all that weight.
Mel,
I thought of some equally sarcastic things to say, however I’ll leave you with one thought:
Is the question, what is your IQ ???
Then I would cease to exist.
And Dad…I can also think of sarcastic things to say. But I did tell you not to look.
Don’t you listen when I tell you to do something?
As if YOU wouldn’t look if your dad told you not to.
Still, congrats on the new tat. How many do you have?
Yes, but he should know by now, by reading this stuff, if I tell him not to look, not to look. He already thinks my dreams are weird.
This is tattoo number 3.
Thanks Shel!
I’ve always had issues with Melissa doing contrary to what she was told1
GRIN!!!!!
Dad…. If I didn’t do some things differently than you, there would’ve been no point in having children. As you’d already know what your life had turned out like, you wouldn’t need to raise children. You’d have all the answers.
You raise children to be moral, to know right from wrong. To make good financial decisions. To make decisions based on quality of life, career, etc. You encourage them to improve their own lives, so they can have more than you did.
You should also be happy that I went to college, eventually finished college, and am working in a pretty cool profession in a pretty cool place.
So far haven’t done anything worse to impugn the family honor (that you know of) than defile my body with ink a few times.
And I might point out that you did yourself a ghetto tattoo when you were younger. Eh hm. So…. Without going into any details about your wild and crazy youth, would you say that I probably turned out pretty damned good?
I’m financially independent? I’m a caring human being, if too liberal for your taste? I’m not doing my laundry at your place any more?
I love you, Dad.
Love it! But if you ever discover the question, will you have that tattooed as well?
If I did, I would cease to exist, as the answer and the question are mutually exclusive in the same universe.