Maybe it’s just compact cars, but did you ever think car horns aren’t loud enough?
Mine just doesn’t give a satisfying enough jolt to the other idiot driver. I want it to blare, hey, you ASSHOLE. Look what you just did! I almost died.Or at least scare the crap out of them.
Was coming back from work [...]
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12. Drive thru. Late nite. Lite. Deliberate misspelling of words until most of the country doesn’t know how to spell them. Went to a furniture store the other day, called Bi-Rite. Thought surely if they had to spell their sign that way, they couldn’t afford to sell expensive furniture. Wrong. Also included in this category. [...]
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I’m in store, I go for a cart because I’m going to buy a couple of storage containers for my impending move.
I look down at a sole cart, pulled out and waiting for the next taker. The fold down flap is dirty, as if the cart has been sitting out in the rain. I wonder [...]
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Who would have thought that Easter picnics are a family tradition for thousands?
It was a beautiful day yesterday, probably hit 72. It was too warm for socks, but I knew I’d be going to work later, where you need extra socks, mittens and a portable heater to survive.
Let’s have a picnic, Heather says. We can [...]
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Does anyone else see the irony in barely being able to hear the person trying to help you change your phone service to another address?
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Two priests knock on the door. Oh, you must be here about the room, I say. Yes, they both say in unison… I could think of a joke to go with that, but I won’t bother.
I’m way out in the country. There are rows of shorn corn fields all around. It is early morning, and [...]
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9. Tiny rebates. Mail-in coupons. Undoubtedly just a ploy to get your information to sell you more stuff. For that matter, big rebates. Why do I have to spend $1,000 on a given electronics item, and wait to get the $150 rebate?
10. Reality role playing games. As fun as they are. Get a life. If [...]
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