Why I pay for cable
September 9th, 2006 at 4:26am |
It’s 4:23.
I counted 20 channels playing infomercials.
I know it’s late. Only a few people are awake.
But surely none of them are buying the greatest invention ever, or 400 greatest love songs or the makeup that will help you pass as another person.
20 channels. This is why I pay for cable.
Posted in Awake
If you don’t mind me asking, what is the greatest invention ever? I’ve always thought it was the DVR, personally, which allows me to record 80 hours of commercials and reality TV shows with which to further numb my brain.
I’m just interested in knowing what an infomercial salesman considers “the greatest invention ever”…
I have no idea. I was mostly making it up. It\’s always some invention you can\’t live without.
The DVR would indeed help me avoid watching informercials. To my credit, I did not try to watch TV. I thought it would help me sleep but when I started flipping, I realized how many infomercials there were, and decided to count. It was kinda like counting sheep. That, and there weren\’t any shows I was interested in watching.
The thing I\’d consider the best invention ever? I don\’t know. The personal computer? My digital camera? I\’d have to give that some more thought.
I do know that my camera has made me a much better photographer. I\’ve learned a lot just by being able to shoot thousands of photos with abandon, and also by posting to flickr, and seeing what other people do. Very humbling.
Should check out my beach photos from last weekend, if you\’re interested.
Maybe flickr is the best invention. Or high-speed internet. How I love it.
I’d have to divide my vote between the iPod and DVR as the greatest and most life-changing inventions of at least the past thirty years, if not of all time. I am still amazed by the sheer amount of music I can carry with me on my iPod. That is truly a revolutionary invention, when you think back to how we bought and listened to music even ten years ago.
I realize the personal computer has to fit in there somewhere, as well, and we all know the name of the company that revolutionized personal computing. Need that name be mentioned here? Hint: it ain’t Microsloth.
You didn’t mention the singles commercials! There are always plenty of those on late.
Ah yes, the iPod is indeed great. And phooey on those Macs.
The singles commercials are not infomercials, but they are a similar waste of time, Lynette.
There was one channel I remember played five or six of them in a row, late at night. Getting increasingly nasty as they went along.
I’m a huge fan of the singles commercials that have different types of music for the different times of the day they air. For example, during the day, Dating service X plays something safe, say, “Mary Had a LIttle Lamb.”
AFter midnight? Dating Service X plays porn chicka-chicka guau guau stuff. Everything’s red, and women are speaking in sensual tones. Dating service my ass.
Heather, if you know that these commercials play different music depending on the time of day, you watch far too much television!
I’ve only seen those dating commercials at night, usually on the Oxygen Network. They are interspliced between commercials for Xzite, a “female sexual enhancement” drug. usually, these commericals are aimed at men who need drugs to “exzite” their woman, so I have never understood exactly why they appear on Oxygen, since Oxygen is supposedly a channel for women.
But maybe a lot of men like me watch the O channel late at night for the program Talk Sex With Sue Johanson. That’s a great show!
If you want to talk exziting … I like the commercials for the sensual mist lubricant. One spray of that and hubby will stop working on the computer. Marvelous stuff.
Yeah, I have a sneaking like for Talk Sex. Actually, I never know what the name of the show is. I usually find it flipping channels, and refer to her as the Sex Lady.
It’s entertaining to watch her play with toys or talk about this stuff. She’s an older lady, and she’s very matter of fact. I can usually watch it until some guy asks if masturbation is normal. People ask such stupid questions.
Sometimes I think people ask dumb questions just to hear what she’s going to say. I swear a woman called in once to ask if she could get pregant from swallowing her boyfriend’s semen. Come on…are you telling me there are rational women out there who would believe something like that? Had to be a phony question.