The answer to aging
I think I’ve found a way to slow down time. To all the people seeking ways to keep from getting old, to prevent wrinkles, to live longer: I have the answer.
Wait in line at the post office. You will swear that time crawls. You will live longer, being in this time envelope, but you will also wish you weren’t living longer.
Clerks disappear inexplicably, never to return. Little old ladies, so tiny and hunched over that they can barely see the counter, tie up the one last clerk. Â
And you’re in a hurry. Time slows down. It contracts. It stops.
You can do a lot of living in the post office, if you can only figure out how.
If standing in line there wasn’t so tedious, perhaps people could spend their whole lives there, or at least during business hours.
Try it. You might not age while stuck in slowtime, but you’ll eventually want to escape. With just enough determination, you can.
Oh god, this is so true. I’ve come to dread going to the P.O. for all these reasons. At our P.O., the Priority Mail boxes are kept behind the counter, so if you need one you first have to wait in line to ask for one, then get out of line to put your items in the box and address it, then get back in line again. I’ve started asking for multiple boxes and taking them home with me, so that I only have to pass through this purgatory once.
Try standing in line at the post office with a toddler. Believe me, this is far worse than the dullness you express. These days,I long for a toddlerless PO trip, long for the quiet predictability of t very long wait. The last 3 times I’ve gone with Elliot, he’s thrown a lay-down-and-kick-and-scream fit for the benefit of all. Two times back he was doing fine until the clerk asked if he was being good for mom today (as opposed to the last time she’d seen him), and then he rememebered that he was being good but shouldn’t be and started to lose it.
What I hate is that you can now mail your own packages at their automated kiosk EXCEPT media mail packages, and nearly EVERYTHING we send is media mail, so we ALWAYS have to wait in line.
Dawn, I know what you mean about the “quiet predictability” of the wait in line. Even though Brendan is out of the kicking and screaming stage, it’s still nerve-jangling to have to keep an eye on him and make sure he’s not swinging from the velvet rope, or knocking into other people waiting in line. I don’t mind taking him with me, but on the other hand, I also like the peace of the wait in line alone, where I can lose myself in my own thoughts for fifteen minutes or so. Same with going to the grocery store, or anywhere…things go much faster, much smoother, much quieter, without children.
You are so right, Lynn. Sometimes, though, I miss the conversation. But this is more the case with grocery shopping (which can be pseudo-leisurely and filled with snacks to keep him happy) than short trips like to the post office.
What I really can’t understand, though, is when the PO became a problem. Prior to the past month, he LOVED going–loved handing packages to the women, loved scribbling on the backs of the envelopes while we waited, loved looking at all the boxes, loved opening the really big mailbox and looking inside. Now, though…now he’s just a hellion. And what IS it about the floor that it has become such a desirable thing to lay down upon? I don’t get it…
Every child goes through this, Dawn. Your response to the behavior dictates whether they go through it in a relatively brief period of time (months), or whether they continue the behavior until they are five or six or beyond. I think your response is fine and you’ll be out of this stage by the time he is three.
Who knows why he is doing it. Maybe for attention, maybe because he wants to leave and he knows if he throws a fit, you’ll take him home; two year-olds are an emotional enigma.
I tend to disagree with parents who say “ignore the behavior” because I don’t think that works, and its inconsiderate of the strangers who have to endure the child. Usually, if Lynn and I are together and Brendan is doing something we don’t like (not so much fit-throwing, anymore, but general misbehavior), one of us takes him to the bathroom for a stern talking and (sometimes) a butt smacking. If one of us is alone with him, then we resort to the old “Wait ’til I get you to the car” tactic.
There are as many schools of thought on the subject as there are naughty children in the world, so I am certain there is a school of thought that says we are incorrect, as well. But you do what you can, and you do what you know how to do, and you hope for the best. Ultiamtely, your displeasure with him, and his innate desire to please you (seriously, there is such a desire in children), are your best weapons against misbehavior. Also, make sure you are profusely rewarding his good behavior. That is absolutely essential.
I love how this has turned into tips for parenting. I can’t imagine what it’s like to constantly worry about the behavior and moods of a child.
Matt, I think your approach is a good one, and the one I try to take as well. “Ignore the behavior” might work at home sometimes, but in public, nobody wants to see a child in a full-blown tantrum. One thing I wrestle with is doing what I want to do when Elliot’s ruining my good time out and I don’t want to leave because, damn it, this was supposed to be fun. This happened at a thrift store not too long ago, and what I should have done was put back everything I’d picked up (half of it for Elliot) and left. But I didn’t.
Oops. Sounds like he’s up now.
For one thing, I don’t think it’s possible to ignore the behavior. When they ratchet up the volume and become more wild the more you ignore, the parent almost inevitably gives in, gets angry, and provides the negative feedback the child is (apparently) wanting. Or worse: the parent rewards the behavior with whatever the child is desiring/throwing a fit for. What does that teach a child but “if I get louder, Mommy will eventually break.” Better to just get angry and cut the behavior off before it gets to that point, if possible.