42 Dreams of Arizona Bay

I have so many posts brewing from this weekend, and not sure I can share them all. First of all, you might fall asleep. And second of all … some of them aren’t so clean.

Will share this quick tidbit:

Standing at a parade. Pressed in by people. I can’t help that I’m tall.

I turn around for a second, and see a short girl jump up and down and squeak like Mini Me. Yes, just like Mini Me. And then, as I turned around, she started complaining about tall people.

She and her friends continued to complain about tall people, and how much they didn’t like them, for a good hour and a half, as long as I stood there.

I can’t help that I’m tall. I can’t help that you’re short. If you can’t see over me, move.

You would not be so rude if I was a guy. It’s only because I’m a woman that other women feel able to criticize my height.

I didn’t do anything wrong by being there. I can’t help that I’m tall.

As usual, I stood and took it, like the wuss I am.

But over the weekend, I swore at people at least twice, loud enough to be heard. Deservingly. Called them assholes. I need to get more inventive.

I should’ve called those short girls short assholes, but it just would’ve made me a little person.

Maybe fuck off next time. Or double dumbass on you, ala Admiral James T. Kirk in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. About those colorful metaphors…

KIRK
Spock…

SPOCK
Yes?

KIRK
About those colorful metaphors we discussed. I don’t think you should try to use them.

SPOCK
Why not?

KIRK
Well, for one thing, you haven’t quite got the hang of it.

SPOCK
I see.

KIRK
And another thing… It is not always necessary to tell the truth.

SPOCK
I cannot tell a lie.

KIRK
You don’t have to lie… You could exaggerate.

SPOCK
Exaggerate.

KIRK
You’ve done it before. Can’t you remember?

SPOCK
The hell I can’t.