Bigfoot
Who knew Bigfoot lived in central California, amongst all the normal people. Blending in, going to work.
Apparently my feet are too big to buy dress shoes in town. I went on a recent quest to buy shoes and got my familiar depression and disappointment at learning once again, I am a giant and therefore cannot wear normal clothing or shoes.
It’s not like my feet are that huge; they’re size 11. Technically not large enough to scare small children or crush trees in one step.
But you couldn’t tell that to a bunch of salespeople in the shoe stores or departments I scoured.
“We don’t carry size 11.”
“We don’t carry very many size 11s. We have about four pairs.”
“We don’t carry that size.” Undertone: get out of our store, you unfashionable bigfoot.
Mostly because I don’t normally try to shop for shoes at overpriced department stores, I guess I’d never been subjected to the humiliation of bigfoot syndrome. Apparently, if you go to somewhere cheap like Payless, where the shoes are just as cheap as the price, you can still get a tiny selection of shoes, and be treated like a human being. Well, that’s not entirely true. Payless doesn’t have salespeople milling around hungrily, eyeing you to determine whether you’re worth wasting charm on. How is she dressed? She’s a giant! We can barely spare civility on her. The clerks at the counter don’t care.
I finally gave up the dress shoes quest and bought a pair on eBay. I kind of wanted to be able to try the shoes one in a store, but it wasn’t meant to be, obviously.
The shoes shipped very fast. And I tried them on. And one of them just fit funny. I thought it was weird that my left foot would be so much bigger than the right. And then I examined the bottom. I got one size 10 and one size 11. This is exactly how my life goes.
It’s in the process of being straightened out; I should get the proper size shoe, eventually.
In the meantime, I also have been shopping for new athletic shoes. I went to a well-known sporting good store and tried to pick out a pair of shoes there. Looked at the shoes on sale, and a punk little salesman overheard me looking for my size.
“We don’t carry a lot in that size,” he said. “Usually the bigger name brands, like Nike.”
“So you don’t have this shoe in an 11?”
“No. Usually, we find that women who wear an 11 end up buying men’s shoes.”
It was the way he said it. It really hurt me. Hesitatingly, like sharing a nasty secret. He wasn’t at all sorry, either.
I walked out.
I don’t have a problem buying men’s shoes. I often have worn them, often because I was looking for a particular style I couldn’t find in women’s.
I do have a problem, reading between the lines, with being told I’m embarrassingly big. Too big to buy shoes in the women’s department. Freak. Bigfoot.
If they have enough women coming in looking for that size — and it’s apparent they do — why doesn’t the store stock more of that size? Why don’t the shoemakers make that size?
It goes back to the same thing I’ve always said about plus-size clothing. Nobody cares about us. Nobody cares whether we want to look good. Larger women are marginalized as being unattractive.
Yeah, and when we have the option of wearing jungle-print shirts and short, elasticized pants or men’s shoes, you wonder why we’re labeled as unattractive. And if you should manage to go to one of the two stores dedicated to plus-size women who care about their appearance, you find that they charge twice as much money for the skinnier counterparts. Not because there’s more fabric involved. No, because plus-size women are desperate to find something that doesn’t look like it fell out of grandma’s closet.
Clothing industry, fuck you. Get real. Women are not size 4. Much of this country is not your fucking ideal. This country is getting fatter, taller, larger. And some day, some gigantic Amazon woman such as myself is going to come and kick your asses.
If it makes you feel better, I wear slippers made for women, and had your size 10/11’s come in at 7 AND 6 I could have worn them. I normally just settle for one size, however. Buying two pairs of shoes is not cheap, or a sharp aesthetic choice. People notice. . .
I’ve recently become very interested in the way society is grounded in norms: you enter rooms and rooms are designed for six foot tall walking men. What if you are taller? Or in a wheelchair? And how does not fitting this materialized norms affect is unconsciously? Same thing for shoe sizes… (I’m teaching a course on disability right, obviously).
If that sales guy would have told me about buying men’s shoes I would have said, “Excuse me, did you just say what I think you said?” It reminds me of that time you went with me to try out that used car. Remember when I mentioned that the car didn’t have a ccd player. The guys said,”Oh you could have one of your male friends put in a new stereo.” Men say the dumbest and monst insulting things sometimes. There’s no reason why stores can’t stock more shoes for those of us with big feet. Not everyone is the size is the size of a pixie.
Sorry for all those typos. The text box was doing weird things on my screen.
This is a great post. I had to laugh at your remark about how when one’s only clothing options are jungle print blouses and elasticized pants, one is bound to be marginalized as unattractive. Lynn and I have made the same observation when shopping at Catherines or any of the plus-size stores: Lynn will point out a shirt with a gaudy floral design that looks like it could fit an elephant and say ” What self-respecting overweight woman would wear that?” And I reply, “What self-respecting clothing designer thinks an overweight woman wants to wear that?”
Somehow I think the designers for these clothing lines are not large people. They must all have the stereotype of the fat person in mind. You ever see that Simpson’s episode where Homer purposefully gains weight so he can quit his job and go on disability? He ends up so fat the only clothing he can find to fit him is a floral print mumu. That’s the stereotype I’m talking about.
Hi there… I ran across your blog while thinking of Tool.
I read this post and just knew I would have to read the rest of them.
In time…
This story made my smile, laugh and cry at the same time.
I put a lot of faith in my first impressions
(hence the response after reading only one post).
You strike me as a REAL person.
Take that as you will.
Glad you have the RSS.
You’ll likely be hearing more from me over time
Thanks for all the comments. I am tired of being marginalized as out of the norm in many different ways.
Btw, I got my other shoe, and it works. I think I got so desperate about finding dress shoes, any shoes, that I forgot how much I hate high heels, and skinny ones at that. I am going to have to start practicing how to walk in those stupid shoes. Still haven’t found athletic shoes; I was not in the mood to spend $64 at Lady Footlocker on a pair of Nikes. Having been informed, somewhat more politely, that they don’t have many in my size except in Nikes.
And a special shout to Tony … thanks for dropping by and commenting. I hope I don’t disappoint you. I am just an angry girl… Currently listening to Aenima at work, as it happens.
I hear ya! Grew up with my parents shopping for my shoes in the guys section because my feet were so wide. I war a 10. I would never have even thought to buy shoes on eBay. But sometimes you don’t have much choice.