I initially intended this post to be about how angry I got with my insurance agent’s secretary. About how stupid she is. About how I had to spell my name for her five times. How I got no satisfaction. How I lost the argument with Comcast, yet again, about me being required to lease a [...]
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Conversation between me and my dad:
Me: “It’s about 100 degrees right now –”
Dad, interrupting: “Shut up! You suck! You suck!”
Me: “No, no, I’m not trying to brag. Really, believe me, 100 degrees is nothing to brag about.”
Dad says a cold front went through the midwest. Here, it has been hitting 100 for about three days.
It’s [...]
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I need to start a new category. I don’t know if it’s sustainable. But in case it isn’t, two new categories:
Things heard in the pool
and
Stupid people
The inaugural entry comes from a frat boy sitting in the hot tub with three to four other college students.
Stupid people number one… It is 100 degrees and these kids [...]
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Cats may someday take over the world. Or my TV turned itself on. Or there was a visitor in the house, either supernatural or of a more burglar type. My vote is for the cats.
5:30 a.m. I wake up. There is a cat purring on my head. That’s not unusual. Data often makes his presence [...]
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I finished my second semester of school, after a long absence. I survived and survived well.
Here’s what I learned during the last few months, something that I reaffirmed from my previous assessment of students: Many students are wasting their time. And by wasting their time, they’re also wasting mine.
I don’t know whether they don’t care [...]
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I lost my temper.
It had been a long work week. Not particularly bad, but maybe I’d just forgotten everything. Last night, the fire alarm went off twice. We probably spent an 1.25 hours total waiting to be let back into the clearly not burning building.
So we go out to a chain place to indulge in [...]
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Sometimes, the opportunity to write a headline just drops right in your lap.
I wish I could take credit for this headline, but I can’t. I can only credit Heather, who has absorbed enough Douglas Adams to do me proud.
Read the rest of Best. Headline. Ever. 42.
