Dumb moments in the city
September 22nd, 2008 at 9:55am |
When I went to Sacramento this weekend, I didn’t bargain on a jaunt to San Francisco. But it was fantastic.
- Saw a view of the city that was spectacular, all for the price of parking in a fairly reasonably priced parking garage.
- Looking like a complete idiot because I wore sandals to the city. Heather had told me to bring a jacket (though I didn’t know we were going to SF) but I decided not to bring shoes and socks. I absolutely despise anyone seen wearing socks and Birkenstocks. But in the end, my cold feet were more important than not looking dorky, so I borrowed a pair of Heather’s ankle socks.
- To further complete the dumbass tourist ensemble, I had brought my cheap, $15 San Francisco fleece jacket. If I’d known we were going to SF, I would’ve chosen a different jacket. I also despise people who wear touristy items of clothing, and it’s even worse when those people are wearing them in the town they are visiting. Yes, I own a SF jacket. I bought it because I stupidly didn’t have a jacket one night and I thought I was going to freeze to death because I hate being cold. I still wear it in Fresno because I like it. I pretend the SF logo isn’t there and it keeps me warm.
- We almost ran over a stupid girl at the parking garage. Heather was trying to pull straight into a parking space and a girl ran in front of us. I yelled, what the fuck, you stupid bitch!
Even better, her boyfriend or at the very least, male companion, yelled back, she’s stupid! That actually made it worthwhile. - Remembering that I can’t eat many things, or shouldn’t. My no-no list includes cheese, mashed potatoes, milk, anything greasy, probably garlic and curry. But the thing is, except for the grease, I love all those things more than I can say. If I had to choose between curry or cheese as my only food source on an island … it would be tough. I might end up choosing the curry just because there’s more to the dish. I could cheat and choose a curry that comes with paneer. … Anyway, we got takeout Thai a couple hours before I had to leave. I always forget that Thai food or curry in general often makes me sick. And I remembered this about a half hour into the train ride.
I also have a rule about not going to the bathroom on a moving vehicle, whether it’s a train, bus or airplane. It’s not just the motion or the tiny space. It’s the combination of both: knowing that 200 other buttocks have sat on that seat and already it’s getting nasty in a small space. Then there’s also the fear that we’ll be in some sort of accident and I’ll be the person with my pants down, and shit splashed on my ass.The short end to the story is that I made it home without having to use the bathroom, but just barely.
Posted in Awake
*ah* found the right post…
Were those 200 buttocks on the same person?
Well, I’ll never know for sure because I didn’t investigate personally.
It seems, though, that if I’d used the bathroom, I might have accounted for four buttocks.
Look at it this way, when was the last time you heard about a major train wreck? They don’t happen that often. You’re probably safe in that regard. Sitting where other people have sat…that’s a different story. I tend to feel the same about any public restroom. Fortunately I’m a man and I only have to sit down for one of the two actions. I can usually postpone until I get home.
Well, now that you mention it, there have been two commuter train wrecks in southern California within the last couple of weeks.