Fake ponytail mom
I had to head to the mall today, on Sunday, of all days. Luckily for me, the mall I needed to go to is a sad little mall, and it was also early evening, so it wasn’t too crazy and I didn’t feel too angry.
I strolled behind two women, a mother and daughter. Neither one seemed to have come by the blonde hair naturally. Mom, in fact, had stare-worthy hair. She wore the longest, fakest extension I have ever seen, in a ponytail and hanging past her butt. They both wore black, and the daughter wore a grey skirt over tights. Speaking of tight, the mom wore really tight jeans in an unattractive, middle-aged butt sort of way.
I could smell the smoke drifting back to my unwilling nose. Ugh. From the mother’s voice, I was sure she was the smoker, but then I saw the younger one waving around a cigarette.
And then, what made my trip to the mall worthwhile (apart from buying a water filter for the fridge) … They were very loud and I almost thought that daughter was so loud that she was on a cell phone, in that obnoxious “I have to shout” sort of way.
“What is it with guys?” fake ponytail mom asks. “They have fantasies about having sex with sisters and twins. And sometimes mothers and daughters.”
No, please, no.
She continues. “That’s what’s so weird. He should be chasing after you, the daughter, and not me.”
I pass the duo, trying to ignore the smoke and get a good look at the mom’s face. 50, and looks every year, with heavy lipstick and heavy tan. And not in a good way.
“Hey, you want to eat at ___?” fake ponytail mom asks.
“What, here?” daughter asks.
“Yeah, my treat.”
“Sure! I love ____!”
She can smoke in a mall in California? That’s an odd conversation to have with a child, too. I cannot imagine ever raising that subject with my child, no matter how old. Usually that’s something kids don’t want to go anywhere near with their parents, either.
By the way, I hate “sad little malls” more than busy ones. There’s something depressing about a mall no one goes to anymore.
They were outside, going in. Though some malls here are outdoor, but this one isn’t one of them.
It was an odd conversation. I think fake ponytail mom might have been deluding and flattering herself. Maybe having one of those fantasies where she thinks she’s as good look as her daughter, but probably hasn’t been in 20 years.
The sad little mall just feels outdated and dark and closed in. It has a handful of major stores, but mostly, I can’t think of a reason to go there, because it has little weird stores you’ve never heard of. There’s an even sadder mall that was rescued by the second floor being taken over by government offices.