Is school worth it?
On occasion, I wondered whether it was a good idea to return to school. Anyone who has let me blather for more than 30 seconds at them knows that I’m hanging in there, but barely. I’ve been very busy this quarter.
I don’t mind the work but I do mind never having any free time and the thought of getting a less than optimal grade because I took too much on myself.
If I continue the pace I’ve been keeping — the one that’s killing me, mind you — I can graduate in December. A year and a few months after first starting my library and information science education.
Here’s my misgivings:
- I haven’t worked in the field. The job market is harsh. My concentration is in a slightly less traditional area, but one that is growing. I don’t know exactly where I’m going to end up after graduation. As if I didn’t have enough problems trying to get a job in my old field, where I at least had more than 15 years of experience.
- I am spending a lot of money for grad school.
- I thought — as did many of my fellow students — that I would have more on-campus offerings available. Without getting into details, plans to have on-campus classes last quarter fell through. All of my coursework for this grueling quarter is done online. If I wanted an online program, I could’ve chosen one much cheaper than this one.
- Now I’ve found out that one of my on-campus classes has been technically canceled and moved online because of low enrollment. Luckily, the prof is dedicated to teaching it to us physically anyway. I woke up rip-roaring mad, and now she’s at least reduced some of my anger and frustration.
The problem is with being mad is that I’ve actually taken enough classes that I’m enjoying myself. I know so much more than I did in September. I’m not a quitter — let’s not bring up the five-year undergrad hiatus — but I do know when the odds are against me. If I didn’t have so much loan money spent, I probably would give serious thought to the idea of quitting or transferring.
I feel a big disconnect from the sense of community that many of the graduate students on my satellite campus have. The other programs generally aren’t having problems like mine. I’ve sorta been volunteered to do some communications stuff and I’ve also volunteered to serve as a student ambassador for spring orientation. But now I question why I should bother. I’m already expending a lot of time and effort for a place that didn’t think through the demand or demographics for this program.
And the quarters in the future don’t look much better than this one; because my classmates have different interests and many of them are taking a slower route, it’s unlikely that I will be able to take any other classes on campus. There just won’t be enough demand for the stuff I need to take for my concetration.
What’s more disappointing to me is that I didn’t have a normal undergraduate experience and I thought at least with graduate school, I might get some of what I was missing back.
So, no, I’m still not having a normal experience. I can’t do anything right.
I’d like to tell myself that the education will all pay off, but I’m not sure I believe that this morning. At least not as cranky as I currently am.