The Junk Drawer

I consider myself something of a connoisseur of euphemism and double talk. Politicians and military folk in particular provide plenty of examples of imprecise or euphemistic or jargon-laden speech ultimately signifying nothing. They just have so much truth to obscure, they quickly become adept at the ponderous turn of a bad phrase.

One of my recent favorites is the so-called “incentives package” the United States and Europe is offering Iran, in order for it to stop developing nuclear technology. In the ordinary world, an “incentives package” is rightfully called a bribe.

(Read on …)

It’s dead over here.

During my random research into the cultural detritus of the early eighties, I came across this bit of musical kitsch.

In 1980, Jon Bon Jovi made his first recording of a song, and it happened to be for a Star Wars Christmas album, Christmas in the Stars.

Thanks to the glories of Wikipedia, which I am only now starting to appreciate, I can make this excellent bit of garish eighties nostalgia available to you, so long as this link works.

R2-D2 We Wish You a Merry Christmas

If anyone ever sees this album at a thrift store, you’ve got to buy it for me. I will repay you whatever sum you desire. It is of the utmost importance that I have this album.

On the radio this morning, I heard about this website called Don’t Date Him Girl. It’s a site that allows women to post warnings, and photographs, of men that women should not date. This is a pretty ingenious site, even if it is probably prone to fraud.

The entries are what you might call the reverse of a personal ad. Take poor Jonathan Clark. From his picture, he looks like a handsome college dude. Read the description, and you soon come to believe the guy is a real sociopath:

You’re dating this guy? DON’T. About 99% of everything this guy has ever told you is a lie. Everything he claims to be and do is fabricated by his own overactive imagination. He says that he played football at Virginia Tech. Never happened. He never even went there—or to any real college. He gets girls by telling them that he is going to be a superstar NFL Punter soon, but until then, you’re just gonna have to buy him everything his little heart desires.

Ultimately, there is no way to verify whether this information is true, but it seems to me the real point of this website is not only to identify players, but to give women a forum on which to vent. Also, one cannot discount the fun factor in reading these hatchet jobs. It’s a humorous way to pass a few minutes on your lunch hour.

I hope none of you singles find a man you’re currently dating listed on this site.