A Pilgrim’s Digression

Kerry’s Vision Disappoints a Yearning World (washingtonpost.com)

The election is still more than a month away, and already the post-mortem has begun. Why did Kerry lose? One writer in London claims that Kerry’s failure is attributable to “the long, disreputable tradition of anti-intellectualism in American politics.” Others point to Kerry’s inability to articulate a clear difference between himself and President Bush on Iraq. All of the writers quoted in Morley’s article wring their hands nervously at the thought of a second term for George W. Bush. It’s almost enough to make one vote for Bush, just to see the Europeans weep.

A journalist for a Spanish paper writes that Kerry “is the hope of the world to put a stop to the imperialist ideas and belligerent crusades of the Bush government.” That’s a lot of pressure to put on the shoulders of one man. It is also hardly a ringing endorsement to most Americans. Middle-of-the-road Americans don’t care a fig for what the rest of the world thinks; indeed, the more right-leaning among us entertain the gut reaction that if Europe is for it, then Americans ought to be agin it. Some will no doubt vote for Bush because Kerry is the choice of Europeans.

Kerry understands this, I think. Many months have passed since his blunder when he said that he has spoken to European leaders who want to see him win the election; he has not repeated that mistake, though it may be too little, too late. In the meantime, I have read in the New Yorker that the French reporters in Kerry’s media entourage have been disappointed that he now refuses to converse with them in French. It’s English-only on the Kerry campaign plane.

There is a strain of anti-intellectualism in American society; more than a strain, really. No one in modern times ever got to be President on his brains. It isn’t that Americans are stupid; it’s that we don’t trust intellectuals, or people who speak a foreign language. Is there anything wrong with that? Not really. It just means if you want to be President, you must play by the rules of the game, which are: at campaign stops, try to make the whole thing look like an impromptu hoe down; eat lots of barbecue and corn on the cob while sitting on hay bales shipped in from nearby farms; roll up your shirt sleeves; buy a modest ranch in some western state where you can pretend to clear brush while on vacation, clearing brush should become your favorite hobby; squint a lot; even though you’re rich, don’t flaunt it, have your campaign bus stop at Wendy’s for lunch when on the road, and make sure the press reports your fondness for fast food; routinely make hilarious misstatements so that the American people get a good laugh and your opponents continually misunderestimate you; get your hair cut in the local barbershop of whatever town your bus happens to be passing through; don’t tell reporters, even hostile reporters, to “Shove it!”; go to church every Sunday, your Bible under your arm. And perhaps most important, no windsurfing! Repeat this to yourself daily: No windsurfing! When was the last time you saw a NASCAR Dad participate in any sport involving wind that did not come out of his ass? These are only a few hints to the prospective candidate. Every election adds to the list of do’s and don’ts.

Suffice it to say, Americans like to elect people who are like them, people like Bill Clinton and George W. Bush. Sad, but true. Just yesterday, I read an article in the New Yorker about Teresa Heinz Kerry. She sounds like an interesting, sophisticated woman who would be a fine First Lady. All her sophistication, though, is a handicap in an American election. After the election is over, and if Kerry has lost it, Kerry supporters will all shake their heads and wonder why it had to be. The fault lies not with the Kerry’s—they can only be themselves after all, and it’s hard to hide the fact that one is a billionaire with magnificent homes scattered from Sun Valley to Georgetown—the fault, Dear Reader, lies with we who chose them. What did we think, that the American electorate would suddenly decide to break with tradition and vote for someone so unlike us? If elected, John Kerry will be the wealthiest President ever to hold the office. I am a Kerry supporter, but personally, I cannot even imagine what it must be like to wake up every day with the knowledge that no matter what I do with the rest of my life, I am still a billionaire. How much more difficult must it be for others to identify with this man?