A Pilgrim’s Digression

Although I don’t listen to the talkers on the radio as much as I used to, I still enjoy reading the diatribes they post on their website. On his radio program yesterday, Limbaugh commented at length on what he considers the media bias in reporting the Pope’s death and funeral. Since the Republicans have already turned all the Democrats into their personal choir of castrati, sometimes it seems like conservatives have nothing else to complain about but media bias, and of course the “activist” judiciary. The media and the judiciary are really the only things standing in the way of one-party rule in this country, and I am dubious about how much the American people can trust either of those two entities to defend the public interest.

Following is a lengthy quote from Limbaugh regarding how he thinks the media would respond to the return of Jesus Christ, another “conservative” in Limbaugh’s opinion, who sees no need to “modernize” in the way the media wants the Roman Catholic Church to “modernize.”

I’ve been trying to say this all day. I’m not Catholic but I know what they believe, and I know what governs them, and it’s their interpretation of the Bible and Jesus Christ as our Lord and savior and that’s it and His Word is it and there’s no changing His Word! It would be no different than if instead of the pope dying if Jesus Christ came back down here and Christiane Amanpour said, “Do you plan on changing what you believed in in order to become relevant in the modern world?” (Amanpour impression): “The American people say that what you stand for, Mr. Jesus Christ, is way behind the times.” It’s silly. It’s absolutely silly. But I guarantee you, that’s what would happen. You know what would be a great novel? I don’t know that anybody’s done this. I’m not qualified. I’m not learned enough nor educated enough to do it, and I don’t know that I have the stick-to-itiveness to apply myself to it, but I can give you a great, great novel idea. Now, I mentioned this to somebody the other day and they said, “Oh, the guy that wrote Jonathan Livingston Seagull tried it in the book that followed,” and I said, “Well, since I haven’t heard about it, it must not be very good.”

Okay, let’s pause here just a second. Literature happens to be my specialty, and I still possess a modicum of research skills left over from my Graduate School days. The book Limbaugh is referring to by the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, is probably Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah. Judging by the Amazon blurb, this book sounds like mid-seventies, New Age pap, so Limbaugh’s friend got it wrong.

Anyway, here is Limbaugh’s idea for a novel:

So let me mention the idea. Try this concept. The actual Jesus Christ arrives on earth, identifies himself, explains why he’s here. The novel is: How would this be received? How long would it take before this guy is himself stoned to death? How long would it take before the media started doing hit pieces on this guy? How long? What would the reaction be? What would he do to prove it?

In this day and age, can you imagine, Jesus Christ actually reappearing, not the Second Coming, just reappear. Well, make it the Second Coming, whatever. Can you imagine the reaction around the world? Forget around the world, just stick with America. Can you imagine all of the different people that would be demanding all kinds of proof that wouldn’t believe anything? As I say, it would be brilliant concept, if somebody qualified and learned enough to do this. It would be fascinating, because you know as well as I do that the number of people who would be scared out of their wits and would be doubting this and would be doing anything they could to disapprove it would gear up like they’ve never geared up before. I’ve often wondered what the reaction would be. Now, I’m taking this in a strict sense. I understand that many of you think, “Hey, if that happened, there wouldn’t be any doubt.” I’m telling you, there would be. I don’t care what happened, there would be people that would start trying to disprove it. You just know, and it’s those people and their reactions, their attempts to refute it all, deny it all, are what fascinate me or what would fascinate me in a novel.

Among all Limbaugh’s Christian Fundamentalist listeners, surely one of them must have called in to mention the Left Behind series by Jerry B. Jenkins and Tim LaHaye. That is essentially the “novel” Limabugh wants to read.

I guess if you have three hours every day to blow hard on the burning coals of public resentment, eventually you bluster about something you know nothing about. In this case, Limbaugh ranted on two things he knew nothing about: Christianity and Literature.

First of all, I don’t even know where to begin deconstructing Limbaugh’s fractured understanding of Christianity. He asks, “What would he [Christ] do to prove it?”

The answer to that is simple enough, He would not do anything.

“How long would it take before this guy is himself stoned to death?” These questions just get sillier and sillier… He’s God, Limbaugh. No one is going to stone him to death.

Furthermore, following a strict Fundamentalist interpretation of “Revelation,” as I understand it there will be no doubt in anyone’s mind when Christ returns. The Second Coming is one of the last events in the End Times sequence. There will no longer be any room for doubt.

Revelation 1:7: “Behold, He is coming with clouds, and every eye will see Him, even they who pierced Him. And all the tribes of the earth will mourn because of him. Even so, Amen.” I could also cite Matthew 24:27 and Matthew 24:30.

Moron. No, I take that back. Fucking moron.

I don’t know why I am wasting my time with this today. However, it is such a rarity for Limbaugh to actually mention Christianity, let alone reveal so blatantly the utter depth of his ignorance on the subject, I thought this worthy enough to pass along.