Your grandma sounds like a wonderful woman, even if she’s not a fighter. She’ll be able to figure out what’s right for her. Sometimes that’s best, regardless of what the rest of the family thinks.

I can remember how I felt when I lost my grandma last year. She was all I had left and really my favorite grandmother. She was always so sweet, if not that smart. I can still hear her telling me to be nice, as a child, and sometimes as an adult. I secretly wondered why it wasn’t my grandfather, who had always been in slightly poorer health, and who I didn’t get along with as well.
Grandma, in the end, decided not to fight, either. She stopped eating. I think she was embarrassed by the way her skin had shrunk on her frame, how she’d lost all that weight that had padded her for so many years. She was so modest, always wearing pantyhose and long skirts, always dressed so well, even at home. She told me that god sees you no matter where you are, and that’s why she and grandpa always dressed so nicely. And in the hospital, she had to wear immodest gowns with holes in the back, and had to suffer being turned so one could see part of her flesh in the process.

Death without dignity is horrible. I think that’s sometimes why people would rather not fight. And sometimes, our loved ones aren’t allowed the choice.

It will be hard to support your grandma. You can even disagree with her, to her face. But I’m sure you’ll tell her how much you love her, and maybe that’ll carry you both through somehow.

It’s hard watching someone die. Especially if they’ve already decided not to fight.