A clean beaver
File this one under “kids say the darnedst things.”
Our neighbor stopped over for a bit this afternoon, and as we sat chatting in the living room, Brendan was playing with the dog. Her favorite toy is a small, brown beaver with a squeaker in it. The beaver was Brendan’s idea; Lynn dind’t want it, because of the possible embarrassing double entendres that would no doubt result. But it was the toy Brendan picked out for the dog when we first go her.
Sure enough, the neighbor asked, “What’s that she’s playing with, Brendan?”
“Oh, that’s her beaver,” Brendan said.
“She’s playing with her beaver?” The neighbor said, smiling.
“Yeah, she likes to chew on her beaver.”
“Oh really?” The neighbor said, starting to laugh.
“Yeah. And guess what?”
“What?” The neighbor asked.
“Mommy washed her beaver. It’s soft and fluffy, now.”
At that point, it was all over. We all cracked up laughing.
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It’s even better when the kids don’t know what they said and then they try to keep people laughing.
When my dad and stepmom were dating, my brother and I taught our to-be stepbrother Tommy some nasty phrases from a Monty Python sketch.
We’d tell him say “My hovercraft is full of eels” and send him to bug them.
Then it would escalate. “I will not buy this record. It is scratched.”
“Drop your panties, Sir William, I cannot wait until lunchtime.”
And … though I don’t think this was Monty Python … “I am a French tickler.” He used to run around saying that.
Needless to say, we were sorta in trouble.
Older now, Tommy still gets mad when he remembers the French tickler bit. But his record is still scratched.
Comment by Mel B — Friday, 13 July 2007 @ 6:05 pm
I laughed out loud on this one. We like to tell Elliot that he is good at certain things like, for example, building with blocks, going to the potty etc. We say, you are a good “blocker” or a good “pottier.” A few days ago he was eating chicken on the bone and he said he was a “good eater off the chicken boner.”
This morning he called Dawn’s panties a “testical bra.”
Comment by Todd — Saturday, 14 July 2007 @ 6:43 am
You have to write these things down or you’ll forget them. “Testicle bra”…that’s a good one I never would have thought of in a million years. Actually, I’ve needed a testicle bra over the past couple weeks. Still some residual soreness from my operation.
Comment by greypilgrim — Saturday, 14 July 2007 @ 9:06 am
I’m creating an archive of this sort of thing for Lucy and Elliot, so I will email your whole blog to them later today.
Won’t this destroy their naive conception of their parents in a decade or so?
Comment by Todd — Saturday, 14 July 2007 @ 10:18 am
Your poor kids. Do you think they really want to revisit things that were funny to parents, but ultimately embarrassing to them?
I can’t tell you how many times I rolled my eyes when my dad trotted out the poop on the walls story or the sweet little girl with no shirt on, running around with onion breath in the garden.
Comment by Mel B. — Monday, 16 July 2007 @ 12:30 am
Bah. Getting laughed at builds character.
Funny story.
Comment by Heather — Monday, 16 July 2007 @ 12:21 pm