A Pilgrim’s Digression

This Primary season has worn me out emotionally. It has been exciting, but there comes a point at which one just wants it finished. When you invest yourself in a candidate, it can be deeply hurtful to find that candidate rejected at the polls, for whatever reason. Lynn and I both have felt that way about John Edwards, Lynn more so than myself. I like Edwards very much, and I would not be disappointed if he came out of the Democratic Primaries with the nomination. But my emotions are primarily tied up in the campaign of Barak Obama, and there have been some depressing moments there, too.

I have indeed at times felt depressed over this election. After the heady experience of his win in Iowa, his losses have been sobering. Then, hearing him in the debate last week with Hillary Clinton, I felt even worse about his chances. At times it just feels like he is facing a Sisyphean task, trying to take away the Clinton’s best chance at a shot at the White House.

And hopefully this isn’t a racist comparison–I confess I can be a bit tone deaf at times–but his campaign also reminds me of the old legend of John Henry, with Barack in the starring (and ultimately tragic) role. The Clintons, of course, play the role of the steam hammer, the smooth and impersonal, modern political machine ready to work Obama into the ground until his heart literally bursts.

I have been trying my hardest to understand the attraction a candidate like Hillary Clinton–or for that matter, one like Mitt Romney–holds for the average voter. To me, I always go for the underdog. It’s just my nature. I am immediately attracted to the horse with the long odds. Plus, just once in my life I’d like to see a real miracle: I’d like to see America elect a truly historic President. And I don’t mean a “black” President or a “female” President. By “historic” I mean a President with vision, honor, optimism, and utter honesty. Vague, ethereal-sounding words, I know–but no more ethereal than the patriotic values that Republicans look for in their Presidential candidates.

Why Hillary then? What do so many voters see in her? Aren’t they feeling the glorious vibe that emenates from the prospect of an Obama presidency? One can’t quite get a sense of her. Is she a calculating bitch? Is she “just” a woman with ambition? And why does she stay with Bill…and does that matter? Ideologically, one is left with the distinct impression that she believes a great President is like a CEO or manager who busily sets out to “fix” the country’s woes. Or perhaps–not to sound too much like a Republican–to her a great President is one which puts the most checks in the mail to American citizens. No, a great Presidency is one which inspires people to better themselves and to believe again in their country.

Democrats and Republicans alike have asked “Well, what does Obama stand for? What are his ideas? We just don’t know!” As if somehow knowing precisely who is going to be covered under Hillary’s health care plan makes her the better candidate. As far as I am concerned, policy issues don’t have to be the deciding factor when casting a vote. All candidates face the task of ruling in a democratic society, which calls for negotiation and compromise, and so whatever policy a candidate proposes now is unlikely to remain the same when it comes before Congress to be approved and paid for.

My sense of Obama’s character is that he is an honest man, and that matters to me more than any policy he might float in the heat of a campaign.

I don’t know where this election is headed. All the pundits say that Hillary is going to be the nominee…but they don’t say it very loudly, because if they make it a foregone conclusion, then they lose the “horse race” story they have been gleefully reporting. If Hillary again becomes the preordained nominee, all the stories about how she and Obama hate each other go away. If she is the nominee, Bill Clinton’s finger-wagging tirades recede, again, into history, as he and his wife try to make themselves respectable for the voters in November.

In one sense, it might be a relief to have nominee locked in after Super Tuesday, but on the other hand, we would lose so much. If this campaign becomes a throwback to the nineties, I am going to lose interest real quick. Republicans are sure to drag out all the Clinton’s old skeletons, and maybe some new ones. There is very little about that I look forward to. I have told my wife I am not even sure I will vote in November if Clinton is the nominee. If I do vote, it may be for McCain (presuming he is the Republican nominee). I voted for him in 2000, and despite his embrace of the Bush Doctrine and George W. Bush himself, I still like McCain, the scarred, surly old war hero.

That is a choice I don’t want to have make, though.

I just don’t know if Obama can pull this off. I want to believe he can, but it seems impossible. All the pundits say it is impossible. When it comes down to a delegate count, the Clinton’s will win. All the pundits say that the idealistic, popular choice–Eugene McCarthy, Gary Hart, Adlai Stevenson–never, ever win. In the end, the tried and true establishment candidate always takes away the nomination.

All the pundits say…

But maybe they are wrong. Maybe John Henry wins this one. Maybe he doesn’t bow to the machine.