A Pilgrim’s Digression

Every time I call Tech Support for some product or other, I always ends up writing a blog post about the awfulness of the experience.  Today I had the pleasure to call Dell tech support, so my frustration was double if not triple the agony.

My wife was recently given a new laptop at school, and she brought it home to do some work this weekend.  She asked me to connect it to my home wireless network.  I set up the connection, and the wireless icon in the taskbar said I had a strong signal.

When I started the browser, I got an error saying that Internet Explorer could not connect to the internet.  Firefox told me that “the proxy server” denied the connection attempt.  So I went into Internet Options and disabled the proxy server, setting up the computer for automatic configuration by the router.

Still no connection.

It took me not even a minute to write that, but it probably took me at least an hour of tinkering to get to the point that I had exhausted all my self-support options.  I am not a Windows user, but networking is basically the same across platforms–there are just different names for control panels and different points of access for such things as proxy server configuration.

So I called Dell.  I spent approximately ten minutes on hold, then got a tech person, probably not residing in America judging by the accent and his difficulty in understanding me.  He basically took me through the steps I had already tried on my own, and I could feel my frustration rising each time I told him “I already did that” and he would say, “Well let’s try it again.”

Finally, he put me on hold while he “researched” the issue.  When he came back after about five minutes, he told me that he couldn’t help me any further.  He said that Dell does not support “networking” issues, only Dell or Windows software or hardware.  He had only been helping me out of the kindness of his heart, apparently.  He suggested I call my ISP and ask them for help.

I was already resigned to the fact that he was not going to solve my problem.  There often comes a point in a tech support phone call in which you realize the person on the other end is reading from the same support database the company provides end users online, and so the tech support person is really nothing more than a glorified phone operator.  You can just tell they don’t know what the hell they are doing.

This fellow even let it slip, as he explained to me why he couldn’t help me further, that he had “googled” the issue and discovered nothing that would help me.

Thanks for googling that for me, Bud.  I could have done that my own goddamned self.

So, after a break to cool down and rest my tired arm and ear, I called Comcast.  I felt like this person knew what she was doing.  She was confident, and she understood me and seemed to get right down to the issue: this new laptop was not showing up on my home network, even though it was connected.  Either the router or the software firewall is blocking access to the internet.

So then she asks me what kind of router I have.

Now, at this point, my past experience tells me to lie.  I need to say Linksys.  I know I need to say Linksys.  Instead, I tell her the truth.  I have an Apple Time Capsule combination wireless router and backup device.

I could hear her audibly shutting down.  She won’t help me any further, I realize.  Not one minute before, she was sympathizing with me over my bad experience with Dell.  Now, she tells me, “We don’t support that product.  You will need to call Apple.  Let me get their tech support number for you.

“I don’t need that number,” I say “I have the number if I want to call.”

“Oh it’s no trouble, let me get that number for you.”

I said, “Look, what does it matter that it’s an Apple router.  I have another Dell desktop PC connected to it via Ethernet, and it works fine.  My Mac works fine.  I just want you to help me make this laptop work.”

“I’m sorry.  I really can’t help you.  You’ll need to call Apple.”

So, I give up.  So what if I call Apple?  What are they going to do for me?  The router works fine, obviously.  I looked up the Dell and Comcast tech support numbers online on my MacBook Pro.

It frustrates me, first of all, that Dell apparently only supports an extremely limited number of problems (I wonder if I called in with trouble connecting the printer that they would tell me to contact the printer cmpany).  It also frustrates me that I can’t admit that I use Apple products without facing a total shutdown of technical support from Comcast.  Yet the latter happens all the time.

Am I right or wrong?  Is it clear to an outside observer that the problem is with my Apple router, and I need to call Apple?  Or am I right and the problem is with the Dell laptop and its apparent refusal to connect to the Internet wirelessly?

There has to be a better way to get help with our technology without paying for an expensive home visit by a techie.  I feel like I wasted a perfectly good hour of my life today, and the laptop is no closer to working than when my wife got home on Friday.

The whole experience, rather than dampening my devotion to the Macintosh experience, has only confirmed it.  I know that when I get a new Mac laptop and open that lid for the first time, it is going to automatically connect to the strongest wireless network in the area.  No configuration required.  No multiple networking control panels to tinker with.  No fuss.  It just works.

Right now, if that Dell were mine instead of the schools, I’d be ready to chuck that hunk of plastic garbage out the back door into the rain.  As it is, I am going to recommend my wife take it back to school and hand it over to her tech support guy to troubleshoot.  Chances are, though, he’ll blame our Apple router and say there is nothing he can do.